Thanks, but I'll pass on the in-vitro meatloaf

Kate Heartfield
Ottawa Citizen

Monday, April 03, 2006

In a classic episode of The Simpsons, Lisa tells her father that bacon, ham and pork chops all come from the same animal. Homer replies sarcastically: "Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."

The latest advances in biotechnology seem eerily like projects Homer Simpson might work on in his basement: Meat-growing machines and pork with all the fatty-acid goodness of fish. Mmm ... omega-3 bacon.

Scientists are manipulating the animal kingdom to satisfy every gluttonous whim. Sure, people could eat flax seed or salmon to get their omega-3 fats -- or scientists could just insert a gene from a worm into cloned pigs, creating omega-3 fats in bacon.

Problem solved.

Except there was never any problem. Like Homer's "wonderful, magical animal," all the foods humans need already exist. The nutrients are out there, in many delicious forms, some animal, some vegetable. Of course, not all nutrients come in bacon. Perhaps we should accept that.

One of the justifications for the omega pig project is the contamination of the oily fish that are good sources of omega-3 fats. Only humans would be perverse and arrogant enough to poison fish, then manipulate the genetics of other animals to fill their nutritional place.

Besides, omega-3 fats seem fairly easy to get without fish -- put some flax seed on your cereal, pack some walnuts in your lunch bag, have a tofu stir fry now and then.

The omega pig study has been published online by the journal Nature Biotechnology. It's not even the weirdest meat-manipulation story in the news these days. There's one Homer would appreciate even more: The counter-top meat grower.

Here's how it would work. Get some starter cells and some growth medium, put it all in an incubator for a while, and you've got yourself a dish full of meat bits. This technology is still in development.

In a recent issue of Tissue Engineering, a team of scientists offered their estimation of the benefits of in-vitro meat.

They say the fat content could be manipulated to make meat healthier. Food-borne disease could be reduced. And the production of meat wouldn't require all the land and water that it does now. I would add a reduced production of methane to the list, on the assumption that counter-top meat does not give off the flatulence that cows do.

Of course, the simplest reaction to these environmental concerns would be to eat less meat, not to invest time and resources into growing it on a counter-top.

One potentially useful application of meat-growing technology is in space, to feed the astronauts on those long journeys.

Still, I wonder how essential fresh meat really is; pioneers of the past did just fine with dried meat and fruit, and there are many more options today. And I'd direct NASA's attention to Jay Morrison, who is packing quinoa, a protein-rich seed that cooks like rice, for his canoe trip from the Gulf of St. Lawrence to the Beaufort Sea.

I have no idea whether quinoa is appropriate for space missions. I do know a basic principle of efficient, sustainable behaviour is to make use of what already exists.

We seem to be losing the ability to do that, in part because of technology.

As with most scientific research, the intended and unintended consequences of the omega pig project or the meat incubators could be good or bad. I'm more concerned about what these research projects say about the evolution of the North American diet than what they say about science.

The message that we need to eat healthy food seems to be getting through our skulls, but it's getting garbled on the way.

Instead of eating a variety of real food in reasonable portions, we seem to think the healthiest diet is one rich in fake food.

The meat projects are the most Frankensteinish, but fake food comes in vegetarian varieties too.

I've been taken in by those fat-free, maltitol-sweetened pieces of coloured cardboard that call themselves cookies. I'm learning that a small piece of good, pure dark chocolate tastes better and has health benefits to balance its health drawbacks.

All real food does.

I'm not a bacon person, but I imagine people who are would be better off eating a piece of regular old bacon once in a while than chewing on engineered bacon every morning in the hopes that some of the fats therein might help their hearts.

The division between good and bad foods is a false distinction that has messed with our minds and our stomachs.

As we make our food choices, it might be more helpful to think about how close the food is to its natural state. Food doesn't have to come from a magical animal to be good for you.