Gary Mason

Published on Wednesday, Apr. 07, 2010 7:21PM EDT

Last updated on Thursday, Apr. 08, 2010 3:22AM EDT

Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson's pledge to end homelessness now includes chickens.

I guess finding a warm room for the thousands of poor souls living on the streets of his city wasn't challenge enough for the young mayor. Today, city council will be debating the merits of his dream to see a family of chickens in everyone's backyard. And the 32-page staff report that provides the basis for that discussion includes a recommendation for a $20,000 homeless shelter for chickens abandoned by owners who no longer find them so cute and cuddly or have tired of cleaning up their mess every day.

When the backyard chicken plan was hatched a few months ago, there was something quaint about the idea. Quirky but quaint. Now, however, the proposal is increasingly being talked about in other terms. Dumb and dumber are two that pop to mind.

With all the headaches that come with governing a city the size of Vancouver, many wonder why would the mayor want to create more problems for himself by encouraging people to raise farm animals whose constant clucking is sure to irritate and whose backyard homes will become a red-light district for all manner of rodents with the munchies? Now, it should be said that the report city staff has produced on the urban chicken is a thorough and competent piece of work, complete with graphs and diagrams of what a backyard coop might look like, and where it should be situated in relation to your neighbour's property.

It recommends the establishment of an online registry for chicken owners, a site that would also serve as a source of advice on “best management practices,” and include a notice board of “upcoming chicken workshops.” The report sets out rules for raising chickens, such as: Owners shall not slaughter chickens who cease to become productive. (Or are just too damn annoying). Instead, hens must be euthanized by a veterinarian (estimated cost – $40) or taken to a farm or abattoir.

This recommendation is already bothering some. A woman calling into a local radio talk show the other day said: “Who is the city to tell me what I can and can't do with a chicken in my own backyard? I'll do whatever I want with them.” No doubt she will. And so will others.

And how does the city plan on monitoring the activities of urban chicken owners? With already overworked city bylaw officers apparently. Although there is a caveat in the report that says: “if complaint volumes are larger than anticipated additional enforcement staff may be necessary.”

Count on it.

Vancouver taxpayers will be thrilled to learn the report's recommendations were reviewed by a number of stakeholder groups, including several departments at city hall. There was likely tens of thousands of dollars in person hours spent producing this document. And there could be tens of thousands of dollars more needed to be spent once the chickens come home to roost, as it were.

For the good of how many people exactly?

City staff – carrying out the mayor's wishes – are trying to sell the backyard chicken by saying it provides benefits such as improving “food security.” Right. A couple of chickens are going to help you survive an earthquake. Raising the feathered wonders will also help reduce greenhouse gas emissions, we're told. Uh, huh. Like having a few hens in the backyard are going to mean fewer trips to the grocery store in your gas guzzler.

Other backyard chicken advocates say it's all about “food sovereignty.” Which is more trendy phraseology from the current fashion known as urban sustainability, the benefits of which are often overstated.

Just as the numbers of people supposedly joining the backyard chicken “craze” are often inflated. After extensive research, the online journal Slate recently declared raising backyard chickens “the bogus trend of the week.”

While Mr. Robertson has handled many issues quite ably during his brief time as mayor, he needs to be careful that he isn't defined, ultimately, by questionable forays into what amounts to pet projects. His backyard chicken plan has most people rolling their eyes. Or rolling in the aisles.

And that is never good for a politician.