The following poem was published in a regular opinion column in the Yukon News on October 17, by Mr. Doug Bell (aka Hugh Conner - Yukoner), retired publisher of the Yukon News in Whitehorse. Mr. Bell is apparently offended by the two vocal animal rights people (myself included, who regularly speak up for animals in the Yukon). Yukoners need to hunt, fish, trap, and mush dogs or they are not happy campers. It should be noted that Mr. Bell, when he was a newspaper publisher, apparently never had any of his reporters do their due diligence in investigating animal cruelty affecting sled dogs, including the Yukon Quest dogs who have suffered and died in the 25 years (as of 2008) the disgraceful race has been staged. Is it any wonder why I am very embarrassed to live in the Yukon?

The New Law of the Yukon

This is the new law of the Yukon and Cheechako’s have made it plain.
Send me your foolish and feeble, send me your weak and insane.

Weak are the pampered and serviced, insane for the need to reform
The pioneer people who built me, force them to comply with the norm.

Swift as a panther in triumph the newcomers pounce on their prey!
Helpless the pioneers cower to their misguided and bullying way.

No smoking, no mushing, no fishing, no driving, no fun and no say
About what is acceptable action or lifestyle or freedom today.

No respect for those who have suffered to build them this home in the North,
My doors have been opened to people proclaiming my laws have no worth!

These newcomers claim we are evil, mindless and cruel and mean
For protecting our claim as a people not ruled by the Southern regime.

No eating of meat, no forestry, no seeking of Klondike Gold,
The thought police are coming for us to force us to do as we’re told!

My heart is broken to pieces as the newcomers squabble and fight,
They pave over my golden hist’ry with social correctness and spite.

My Sourdoughs’ struggles have ended as they are now harried and gray,
Too tired to battle these morons who feel that they know the right way.

It is said that we won’t go to meetings, but we are busy attending our works,
‘Cause what is the point of opinion when your home is invaded by jerks?

Hugh Conner (with apologies to Robert Service.)